Before and during our flight. Happy, but extremely sleepy people!
During the city tour! We were brought to this place where the small boats park that has "footstamps" of famous people on it. Sort of like Hollywood, or the one in Eastwood, MNL. :-)
Mom and Dad being so adorable and not bickering. :"> heehee.
We also spent a day in Disneyland, HK.. It was soooo fun. Incredibly memorable! The rides weren't that extreme though, but the place is totally magical (what a lame term, but I don't know any other way to describe it, hihi). We rode ride, saw cute parades of Disney characters (oh gosh, I can't even. It was heaven!), watch fireworks (best 10 minutes of my life that made me teared up) and ate good, legit food! Disneyland HK is just memorable. I loved the experience! :-)
Mom and Dad under the Disney tree! :-)
Look! It's snowing! :D
Having lunch before crazy-ing it up in the park.
LEGIT CHINESE FOOD RIGHT HERE.
We were also able to spend a day in Ocean Park. Their Ocean Park is nothing like Disney land. The rides were more extreme, and the venue was more open. The siblings and I rode so many rides, that I forgot already what those rides were called. Heehee. I just remember riding this plane that rotates 360 with us being locked up inside, one person each. And, Going up on this big circle on the sky. And! riding the cable car. Legit cable car. It was crazy! @-) We also tried their Abyss turbo drop that goes up on air by around 65 meters. We weren't able to ride their roller coaster though. It was closed during the time. :-( But, oh well.. It was an amazing experience all in all!
Trying out other rides. :-)
Ocean Park is located on this mountain. Therefore, we had to take long, narrow and deep escalators just to get down to the other levels. :o
Mom and Dad overlooking parts of the city. It is that high!
Mandatory shot inside the telephone booth! =)
Abyss turbo drop. It was nerve thrilling! Something I'd definitely try again! :-)
Hongkong experience was amazing. It is something that is definitely on my list to go back to when I grow up. =) Their street food is amazing! not to mention the carinderias and the night markets. We also had the chance to go to the outlet stores that sells authentic branded stuff but in a cheaper price! We were also able to tour the city using a boat that taught us that some of the HK people can manage to live on a boat, in the middle of a big river.
I sat there staring.. staring.. and staring. I started to contemplate. Maybe.. maybe I was born to be a starer. I suddenly want to laugh at the absurdity of my thoughts. Here we go again..
I was lurking around twitter awhile ago when I came across some law student's profile. I was awed. My eyes grew big, then.. my jaw dropped. I bookmarked it as if my life depended on it. Yes, I was very much THAT awed. And yes.. that happens a lot.. maybe, every time I encounter a law student. Haha.
Most of the time, I get discouraged.. intimidated, even. Imagine those folks carrying big books around, waking up at 6 in the morning to start their never ending reviews.. who won't get intimidated, right? Sometimes, I chill. I mean, I say a quick pray to God telling him to NOT make it hard for me when I get there.. But, I know that's impossible. After all, they won't teach you a subject that is impossible for you to learn, right? Anyway, sometimes.. I panic! Yes. A full blown panic. I stop then, utter a poor excuse of a phrase.. like "Oh my fcuk! Are you seriously planning to get into that mess?" But.. sometimes, I get excited too.. And, I take comfort from that. Somehow, that gives me hope to pursue that field. The field of law. Haha. Ofcourse, having a father as a lawyer is pretty encouraging but, in the end.. I know it's going to be just me.
Can't say I'm not scared cause, who in their right minds won't be.. right? But, I've been wanting this ever since I was a kid. I know it sounds weird, but somehow.. I have this confidence in me that I'm going to make it. No maybe, no what ifs, no fcking "I think I want to shift" (technically.. you can't shift when you're taking up law already.) .. I have my mind set on it. But most importantly, I have my heart on a stone.. set on it ever since I was a kid. It doesn't even matter anymore if I'm taking it up because that's what my parents want my to take, or because that's what the whole clan expects me to take. NO. I'm taking this for myself. Because somehow, I have faith.. that no matter what, I can do it and I'm going to do it.
Sounds bull. Everything I've said up there but, really whatever.. If there's something I learned.. and I keep on learning every single time..
It's that in God's good time I will prove my worth.
Step by step, she walked. The misty air of change surrounding her. Suffocating her. Towards the unknown. Step by step, she glided. Looking almost like a skater on her rink. Like Shakespeare on his plays. Step by step, with passion.
It was a chilly March. Very unusual for the month. Silently, she thought of how appropriate the weather is. Almost as if it's taunting her. Telling her that change is about to happen. That after some few steps, her life will never be the same again..
It was one of those days. Those days when I'd rather be stuck at home with a book on my right hand, and a cup of hot chocolate on my left. It was one of those 'almost-rainy-but-not-quite' days. It was one of those days when I met her. I remember her sporting this.. weird, long and dry hair. I remember her face, full of life.. and well, full of youthfulness. She was pretty.. even with a frown. I remember her dating this guy who was, at that time, driving a Honda car full of other guys. My initial good thoughts of her vanished when she hopped in inside. Few weeks later, I was off to Canada.
I never really thought of her when I was in Canada. Being a typical 13 year old kid, It was obvious that I was trying to adjust with the snow, with the weather, with commuting, with boots, with heavy jackets.. basically, with everything. I was also, for some personal reasons, trying to push my life when I was in the Philippines away. I tried MY VERY BEST to forget about that, most especially. And yet, I never did. But that doesn't mean that I thought of her. No, she wasn't important to me back then. She was nothing to me.
When I got back from Canada, I re-united with my classmates again. And no, it was NOT easy for me. Not at all. I had to re-adjust again with the lessons.. From reciting French lines, I switched to reading The Giver (not that I didn't enjoy it, Haha). From the chilling weather, to the UNBEARABLE heat. Oh God, imagine how crazy that made me. Sooner, I was able to adjust and it was graduation already. Graduation was.. fine. Ours was most probably the most stoic graduation that was ever held. Yes, almost no tears were shed. But that doesn't mean that we were all happy to leave our Grade school years behind. Nope. It was actually the opposite.
Very soon enough, after two months of doing nothing, we came back to school. As Freshmens. The bunso of the wild jungle called high school. Anyway, It was then.. that I saw her again. My initial thought was, “Thank God! I have someone to go with.” But I never really joined her during those two quarters. I was with another group and so was she. After some time, my group somehow.. blended with her and we all, clicked. We were all happy for a few weeks, until the girl fights started. NOTE TO SELF: NEVER EVER TAKE THE BLAME FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU DID NOT DO. (The other “cabinet” will blame you for taking sides, Haha.) Anyway, I was depressed. Depressed because we all drifted apart. Depressed because, I was torn in the middle. It was like, “.. Yea, I watched RAW! Oh my gosh, John Cena (yes, we were crazy, haha!) was SO HOOOT!” and then I run to the other side of the classroom, then it was all like, “Yea, totally. Oh my gosh. Have you watched One tree hill? IT WAS AWESOME! Okay so maybe not, Peyton hooked up with Lucas and GUESS WHAT?! I want to slap that one hell of a male bitch called Dan Scott!” .. Yea, talk about the switch of.. mood. It was like, in group A, we were talking about something.. mad. And then, I run to group B and they are talking about One tree hill and what nots. It was MAD. And then, amidst of all those mess of being torn between two groups, there she is, the girl.. who badly wanted to make amends for EVERYTHING that she did NOT do. She was, at some point, exactly like ME. That was the moment when I saw her vulnerability. Her “I don't want her hurt, so I'm stepping up for her” attitude that made her SO.. frail. And so, I started hanging out with her.
I joined her every lunch time, together with a friend of mine, and a friend of her. That's when we began.. and at some point, that's when my friendship with the other group ended. It was sad to let go, yes. But it was something needed to be done. It was something that would make us all mature and civilized. It was mad, and painful but it was a part of life. Sometimes, letting go is just something.. that you need to do, for yourself. But anyway, what's important is that, on SOME aspect.. when it comes to messed up friendship, I was able to let go. And I was able to move on. It was not really hard if you've got a girl like her behind you. She's someone who would carry me, when everything – including myself- gets tough. She's someone who would bring a smile on my face when life gets difficult. She became my absorber on every single aspect of my life. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally.. name it.
She was there when I very badly needed someone to be my sister. She was there when the word “divorce” came out from my mother's mouth (it did NOT happen, thank you God). She was there when I needed someone to go with me to the Praise and Worship assembly. She was there when EVERYTHING that I believed in was basically falling apart. She was there when I was sick physically because of pneumonia. She was there when I needed someone to absorb my anxiousness towards high school. She was there – she still is, by the way, ALWAYS – when I needed someone to clear my mind cause of some people from the past. She's ALWAYS there. Whether she's sick, or it's raining, or she's got a case of a broken heart, or she's down, or.. she has no transpo to meet me. It doesn't matter. She ALWAYS finds a way.
And that's why I love her. Because whenever I'm with her, I don't need to be anyone else. I am NOT torn. I can be quiet, or loud. It doesn't matter. I can be anything. Say anything, whether it be about Pluto – not being a planet anymore, or about.. boys (frequently comes up, haha).. or about my family, or about hers, or about girl things. I am an open book to her. As she is to me. And that's why I look up to her. Because she does NOT judge. She's someone whom I can rely to. She's a CONSTANT change yet, I never felt the need to adjust when I'm with her. I'm Lea. Just Lea. No labels attached. I am my own skin when I'm with her. And for that, I will forever be grateful.
For the record, when I'm with you.. Things are looking better for once. Everything is brighter than the darkness before you.
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up. I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.."
It's SO rare of me to blog about the kind of music I listen to, or the kind of movies that I prefer but, I've been looking for something to blog this past few days.. and my sister just sent me a very interesting SMS this morning about this song.
Most of us think of it as just another.. Another break up song written by a broken hearted guy who doesn't have the nerves to stand up after getting his heart broken. Well, atleast I used to. I never really did understand how you can lose your faith and your hope to life just because your special someone left you. I used to think that someone can NOT be that weak. And that someone CANT possibly rely to another person that much. You see, that song is like the opposite of my personality. To be honest, I don't like being weak. I don't like the feeling of relying to other people that much to the point that, you give them the power to destroy you. I don't like disappointments. But truthfully, who does.. right?
But, all of that changed though. When I received that sms from my sister. I immediately got up from the kitchen (I was eating breakfast, Haha), went to my room, and switched on my iPod. I played the song then, I realized.. the SMS that my sister sent me changed EVERYTHING about that song. I felt like being punched to the stomach while listening to it. I felt like crying my eyes out, and for the first time.. it made me feel like being weak.
You see, it's a song written by a broken hearted guy. I never really thought that something can justify that song. Or the message of that song. I never really thought that the reason for that song can be strong enough for it to pass my judgment. I used to wonder what made that song stand out from the rest. From all those songs that speaks the same words. I used to think that it's just another song, themed as love because.. let's face it, everyone's got something to say about love. About regrets, about sadness, about loss. Heck, even I do. BUT that's not the point. The point is, I used to think that they gave the song such theme because that's what most teenagers listen to this days..
But as I listen to it now, I can't help but shed some tears. Not just for the inspiration of the song (most especially for that though) but, for every single person out there who, at some point in their lives, got affected by the song. You see, it made me see my prejudice towards love. It made me see my wrong judgments and my own shortcomings. I realized that you CANT really see how a person really feels.. from an outsider's view. And that, there's a thing called TRUE to the word love. And now, as I listen to it.. It made me feel pain for the loss, for the regrets, for the pain, for the sadness. Most of all, I feel sorry for the composer and for those people who became the inspiration of this song . Because even though my heart cries out for them, what I feel can NEVER EVER compare to what they feel deep inside.
Do you know the story behind the song "TONIGHT" by FM Static? It was a really sad story, The composer was engaged with his long time girlfriend. As they depart for work, his girlfriend died and was one of the victims of the September 11 incident at Twin towers. He was SO deeply heartbroken and devastated. Thus, he composed that song in honor of his girlfriend.
.. "And every night I miss you, I can just look up and know that stars are holding you tonight."
So hello. Sometimes I go by days.. weeks even.. like I am hypnotized. Sometimes, I am left shocked and dazed by something beautiful and sad, that all I wanted to do is to make it better. Sometimes, when I'm so happy and ecstatic about something I stop by for a moment and relish the feeling of being sad. Sad for all those who are suffering when I'm anything but that. Sometimes, I just don't feel like being happy anymore unless I know to my self that I've done something that makes it better for other people. Happiness and sadness are two words that I can associate with my life right now. Just when I am so happy, like nothing else in this world can break me.. something does. And sometimes, that something leaves me shattered. I'm like a kid who's only figuring out that Santa Claus is not real. Like.. a person whose beliefs are proven to be lies. So hello. Forgive me for being a little bit lost right now. My beliefs are pretty much everywhere at the moment. I'm confused. Broken, even. And I don't have any idea how this would work out. Just so you would know, I love you. I don't know where I would be without you.. And that, most especially, I welcome you, your baggage and your frailties. It won't make me love you any less. And that, I'm sorry if I can't be there for you. I'm sorry if I won't be enough.
It's this realization that keeps on hitting me lately. Sometimes, when you stretch your hands out to other people, they tend to take it for granted. It's sad and depressing. The logic is just pretty hopeless. I wonder how some people do it. I wonder how they manage to betray a person who basically saved their whole life. Haven't they ever heard of the word honor? How about integrity? Where's their sense of gratitude. This is beyond depressing. What is wrong with humanity?
You fool yourself over and over again. Constantly telling yourself that you're over that phase of your life. Constantly trying to forget about the memories, the laughter, the love, the pain. You pretend every waking morning that you're happy. And you pretend every lonely night that you're not lonely. But the truth is, deep down inside you, you know all your efforts are worthless. Because the truth is, moving on is a tricky thing. The moment you see something that reminds you of that certain phase of your life, everything comes back. The love, the laughter, the moments, the memories, and the pain. At the end of the day, you realize.. that those memories, whether you like it or not, are the ones that keeps you alive. They're the ones that keeps you hopeful. And whether you admit it or not, they are the ones that makes you go on in this silly beautiful phase called life.
Sometimes, there are people who's going to barge into your life. Without any sign, without any permission, without any warning. They will create memories, whether it's good or bad. They will make you experience. They will make you learn. They will make you hope. They will make you happy. And they will make you sad. And sometimes, even if you have nothing to hope for, when there's nothing to be happy with, when all you can be is sad, you smile. Because despite everything, through high heavens and hell water, you've experienced how it is to be a butterfly who just came out of her cocoon.. Even if you have accidentally let go of it. Because sometimes, the only way to learn is to get hurt. And you know what, that's all you need to move forward. Happy memories and an optimistic view, that someday.. in the future, the butterfly will come back in your life again.
The course of true love never did run smooth.
- Shakespeare; A Mid-Summer Night's dream.
He was poor back then.
With nothing to be proud of and nothing to show to the world.
She was the social butterfly. The all around school queen.
The epitome of grace and elegance.
With just a smile.. A small case of love at first sight.
Like the "every other people faded out when I first saw him" kind of thing..
10 years of courtship.. Just like William Shakespeare's masterpieces, true love broke out.
And 19th years later, after every crisis, every struggle, every problems, every distance, every lost, every down times, every hurtful words, every hopeless times, every pain, every frailties.. Together they fought for what is real.
It's amazing how 19 years of marriage later, nothing has changed between them. Infact, it's a love much more stronger, much more deeper, much more rare to find. They've stood through almost everything. An unrequited love, lost of a child, ten thousand five hundred sixty two kilometers distance, unreasonable jealousy.. and trust me, a lot more. I don't think I can ever find a love as pure, as true, as deep as theirs.
The course of true love never did run smooth. Indeed. Just looking at my parents, it gives me enough reason to believe in love. They may not be talking or holding hands, but their eyes speaks volumes other people can't hear. Their love is more of unspoken words, and soul-wrenching stares. He compliments her personality, and so does she. I just can't imagine them both without each other.
It's sweet that even after 19 years, they still manage to hold hands in public. Celebrate anniversaries, fetch each other from respective commitments, have Saturday breakfasts alone (without us kids, yea.. we're still sleeping. Ha ha), surprise each other.. Basically, it's just simply amazing how they can still be indescribable after 19 years.
.. I'm just really ecstatic for the both of them. I'm blessed cause you know why? No storm can ever keep them apart. No distance can ever break the bond and nothing, absolutely nothing can ever break their love down.
Happy nineteenth anniversary mom and dad. I love you both so much.
And I almost had you. But I guess that doesn't cut it. Almost had you and I didn't even know it.
- Almost by Bowling for soup.
Regrets. Everyone has one. Everyone has a tiny little secret, protected and kept safe. If I say that my name is regret, would you believe me? It is. Or at the very least, it used to. It used to be my identity. I breathe regret. Every waking moment of my life is made out of blaming someone. The moment I enter a room, You'd think I'm a decent, good girl but the truth is, I'm a rebel. A chaos waiting to happen. Yes, I used to feel that way.
Until one day, I grew tired of it and sucked every pain up. Yes, It hurted. I remember isolating myself from my family, from my friends. I remember asking everyone I know to let me be for awhile. I remember swallowing my sobs at night, stopping forcing-ly myself from going back to my old "blame-someone else" sickness. It's like bulimia, only it's much more worst. It's a soul eating - "watching-yourself-die" feeling. I remember trying to escape, questioning my sanity.. until one day, everything's just a little too much.
If there's something I learned about regrets, It's about swallowing every pride you have up and opening to another person. Yes, it sucks that how they view you as a person might change but always remember that it's how you view yourself as a person that's important. It's you who looks yourself at the mirror everyday, not them. It's you who deals with your soul. So, if there's a this thing I can share with based on my experience, it's that don't let your regrets eat your life. Cause one little mistake, isn't that much compared to your soul.
Deal with it, and move on. God created us a world for a reason. He gave us a room for mistakes by giving us people to deal with. He made it possible for us to grow more. Remember, Every time we wander on that big battle field we call life, all we really have is our soul.
But I've hidden a note, it's pressed between pages that you've marked to find your way back. It says, 'does he ever get the girl?' But what if the pages stay pressed, the chapters unfinished, the stories too dull to unfold? Does he ever get the girl?
