It was one of those days. Those days when I'd rather be stuck at home with a book on my right hand, and a cup of hot chocolate on my left. It was one of those 'almost-rainy-but-not-quite' days. It was one of those days when I met her. I remember her sporting this.. weird, long and dry hair. I remember her face, full of life.. and well, full of youthfulness. She was pretty.. even with a frown. I remember her dating this guy who was, at that time, driving a Honda car full of other guys. My initial good thoughts of her vanished when she hopped in inside. Few weeks later, I was off to Canada.
I never really thought of her when I was in Canada. Being a typical 13 year old kid, It was obvious that I was trying to adjust with the snow, with the weather, with commuting, with boots, with heavy jackets.. basically, with everything. I was also, for some personal reasons, trying to push my life when I was in the Philippines away. I tried MY VERY BEST to forget about that, most especially. And yet, I never did. But that doesn't mean that I thought of her. No, she wasn't important to me back then. She was nothing to me.
When I got back from Canada, I re-united with my classmates again. And no, it was NOT easy for me. Not at all. I had to re-adjust again with the lessons.. From reciting French lines, I switched to reading The Giver (not that I didn't enjoy it, Haha). From the chilling weather, to the UNBEARABLE heat. Oh God, imagine how crazy that made me. Sooner, I was able to adjust and it was graduation already. Graduation was.. fine. Ours was most probably the most stoic graduation that was ever held. Yes, almost no tears were shed. But that doesn't mean that we were all happy to leave our Grade school years behind. Nope. It was actually the opposite.
Very soon enough, after two months of doing nothing, we came back to school. As Freshmens. The bunso of the wild jungle called high school. Anyway, It was then.. that I saw her again. My initial thought was, “Thank God! I have someone to go with.” But I never really joined her during those two quarters. I was with another group and so was she. After some time, my group somehow.. blended with her and we all, clicked. We were all happy for a few weeks, until the girl fights started. NOTE TO SELF: NEVER EVER TAKE THE BLAME FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU DID NOT DO. (The other “cabinet” will blame you for taking sides, Haha.) Anyway, I was depressed. Depressed because we all drifted apart. Depressed because, I was torn in the middle. It was like, “.. Yea, I watched RAW! Oh my gosh, John Cena (yes, we were crazy, haha!) was SO HOOOT!” and then I run to the other side of the classroom, then it was all like, “Yea, totally. Oh my gosh. Have you watched One tree hill? IT WAS AWESOME! Okay so maybe not, Peyton hooked up with Lucas and GUESS WHAT?! I want to slap that one hell of a male bitch called Dan Scott!” .. Yea, talk about the switch of.. mood. It was like, in group A, we were talking about something.. mad. And then, I run to group B and they are talking about One tree hill and what nots. It was MAD. And then, amidst of all those mess of being torn between two groups, there she is, the girl.. who badly wanted to make amends for EVERYTHING that she did NOT do. She was, at some point, exactly like ME. That was the moment when I saw her vulnerability. Her “I don't want her hurt, so I'm stepping up for her” attitude that made her SO.. frail. And so, I started hanging out with her.
I joined her every lunch time, together with a friend of mine, and a friend of her. That's when we began.. and at some point, that's when my friendship with the other group ended. It was sad to let go, yes. But it was something needed to be done. It was something that would make us all mature and civilized. It was mad, and painful but it was a part of life. Sometimes, letting go is just something.. that you need to do, for yourself. But anyway, what's important is that, on SOME aspect.. when it comes to messed up friendship, I was able to let go. And I was able to move on. It was not really hard if you've got a girl like her behind you. She's someone who would carry me, when everything – including myself- gets tough. She's someone who would bring a smile on my face when life gets difficult. She became my absorber on every single aspect of my life. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally.. name it.
She was there when I very badly needed someone to be my sister. She was there when the word “divorce” came out from my mother's mouth (it did NOT happen, thank you God). She was there when I needed someone to go with me to the Praise and Worship assembly. She was there when EVERYTHING that I believed in was basically falling apart. She was there when I was sick physically because of pneumonia. She was there when I needed someone to absorb my anxiousness towards high school. She was there – she still is, by the way, ALWAYS – when I needed someone to clear my mind cause of some people from the past. She's ALWAYS there. Whether she's sick, or it's raining, or she's got a case of a broken heart, or she's down, or.. she has no transpo to meet me. It doesn't matter. She ALWAYS finds a way.
And that's why I love her. Because whenever I'm with her, I don't need to be anyone else. I am NOT torn. I can be quiet, or loud. It doesn't matter. I can be anything. Say anything, whether it be about Pluto – not being a planet anymore, or about.. boys (frequently comes up, haha).. or about my family, or about hers, or about girl things. I am an open book to her. As she is to me. And that's why I look up to her. Because she does NOT judge. She's someone whom I can rely to. She's a CONSTANT change yet, I never felt the need to adjust when I'm with her. I'm Lea. Just Lea. No labels attached. I am my own skin when I'm with her. And for that, I will forever be grateful.
For the record, when I'm with you.. Things are looking better for once. Everything is brighter than the darkness before you.
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