Hello

So hello. Sometimes I go by days.. weeks even.. like I am hypnotized. Sometimes, I am left shocked and dazed by something beautiful and sad, that all I wanted to do is to make it better. Sometimes, when I'm so happy and ecstatic about something I stop by for a moment and relish the feeling of being sad. Sad for all those who are suffering when I'm anything but that. Sometimes, I just don't feel like being happy anymore unless I know to my self that I've done something that makes it better for other people.

Happiness and sadness are two words that I can associate with my life right now. Just when I am so happy, like nothing else in this world can break me.. something does. And sometimes, that something leaves me shattered. I'm like a kid who's only figuring out that Santa Claus is not real. Like.. a person whose beliefs are proven to be lies.

So hello. Forgive me for being a little bit lost right now. My beliefs are pretty much everywhere at the moment. I'm confused. Broken, even. And I don't have any idea how this would work out. Just so you would know, I love you. I don't know where I would be without you.. And that, most especially, I welcome you, your baggage and your frailties. It won't make me love you any less. And that, I'm sorry if I can't be there for you. I'm sorry if I won't be enough.