Please stay for awhile now.

Right now, I feel like the only way to vent out my feelings is to blog. Even though I badly want to seek help from my close friends, I can't cause I know that it will hurt them deep inside like it's hurting me.

The truth is - despite the fact that you're willing to open up, to learn, to accept with all means, most people just tend to keep everything to themselves. Yes, by all means, I accept that fact but, what hurts me right now is that I have to learn some facts from other people than from her, one of my sister. It bruised my already battered self-esteem, made a hole inside my heart and made me think my of worth for them.

It hurts whenever she calls me her bestfriend despite the gap that's currently building between us. It hurts that she doesn't trust me enough to know that I would stay by her side no matter what. It hurts to see that she's acting all good when I know that deep inside, she's hurting like a bitch. I want to help. I want to bring along the pain that she's carrying inside but, what can I do if she doesn't want to open up to me - the one she calls her bestfriend.

It just really hurts to know that she doesn't trust me enough to know that I would stick by her side through thick or thin. It hurts because whenever I have my down times, my heart would always scream her name.

But, I accept it. If she hurts, I hurt too. That's how much I love her. I know you're prolly reading this and stuff. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm just always here for you. I mean it.

La Amistad: Friendship.

La Am 1; La Am 2;
For those who haven't watched that movie yet, your lost. I have been to Canada, both Toronto and Vancouver. I have been to California too. I have been to Osaka Japan when I was in 5th grade. This march, we're headed off to Nova Scotia - Canada.

What's my point, you may ask.

La Amistad means friendship. Ironically, It was also the place where brutal and immoral discrimination took place to Black Africans. They were sold and was forced to slavery just because they were black Africans.

I honestly can't believe that people can be that cruel. They threw people from the ship just because they lack food. They hit people for the sake of hitting them. They don't let sick people get cured and lastly, they took their right to be free.

I honestly believe that until now, most of us are guilty of this. Maybe not the way they slave those black Africans but, the way we tend to judge a person not by his or her attitude and character but by his or her background. Vancouver, Toronto, Japan, California. I have been to those places - all of which still has the ashes of discrimination.

• Freedom is not given. It is our right at birth.
• When we judge, we take that person's right to be free.
• We've come to understand that who we are is who we were.

The natural state of mankind is freedom.

John Quincy Adams: This man is black. We can all see that. But, can we also see as easily, that which is equally true? That he is the only true hero in this room. Now, if he were white, he wouldn't be standing before this court fighting for his life. If he were white and his enslavers were British, he wouldn't be standing, so heavy the weight of the medals and honors we would bestow upon him. Songs would be written about him. The great authors of our times would fill books about him. His story would be told and retold in our classrooms. Our children, because we would make sure of it, would know his name as well as they know Patrick Henry's. Yet, if the South is right, what are we to do with that embarrassing, annoying document, The Declaration of Independence? What of its conceits? "All men created equal," "inalienable rights," "life, liberty," and so on and so forth?

the talent, the will, the passion and the love.

"If you don't want to be just another talent, play with your mind and your heart intertwined. It's not always the knowledge that counts. It's the talent, the will, the passion and the love for what you're playing."
- Ms. Aguilar; Pianist ♥

I had my first piano lesson for the year 2008 awhile ago. I really had fun playing it even though my playing was pretty messed up due to my juggled mind, I still managed. She told me that awhile ago, while I was having a hard time concentrating with my playing. She told me that no talent stands out unless, that person loves what she's doing. I agree so much. That talk with her will forever be etched in my heart.

Anyway, she's training me for the upcoming recital on March. I can hardly wait! :) It would be my 2nd recital ever since I stopped playing way back in third grade. I'm honestly pretty scared, but I know for a fact that it's all going to be okay. All for passion, right? :)

The world doesn't stop.

I had been sporting a frown ever since this day started, I guess you can say that I woke up at the other side of the bed but, it's not just it. The feeling of being mocked is simply an annoying feeling and I just can't stand it especially if my dignity (or my friend's, rather) is at stake.

With all honesty, I hate it when people talk too much especially when they talk but, they know nothing at all. I hate it when people judge you and tell you to have some dignity but, the truth is - they're those who egotistically brought you down. They're also the one who swore that they would be with you till the end but, they're also the ones who pushed and crushed you off the ground.

I hate it when people pretends to know you more than you know yourself. I hate it more when people starts to call you names. I hate it the most when a person tells you to have some effin dignity right after he calls you a whore bitch.

-

Okay, that wasn't for me but I just feel the need to rant it all out. There's my best friend who came from the break up and her jerk of an ex who called her that. I just can't believe it. Who, in his right mind, would name and label a girl that way. Right now, I'm just so thankful that they're not together anymore. He's not worth if. He's one hell of an egotistical jerk who thinks that the world would stop and mourn if he leaves you.

Well, get this you stupid asshole. You're nothing new. So, stop calling names and get a pathetic life cause no one, in her right mind, would fall for an eye monster asshole like you.

2007

2007 has been an emotional roller-coaster ride to me. It was an eye-opener. A lot of fights has transpired that made me learn how to decide and how to stand by my decisions. There's backstabbing, rejection and denials that made me want to give up. (But) despite that, I'm still glad cause even though 2007 has been cruel to me in some ways, it made me grow up. It made me strong. It made me the person that I am today. It made me realize my dreams. It thought me how to be one with my passion. It thought me how to give it all and do my best. It made me see that life is far more beyond from what we expect it to be.

Sure, 2007 wasn't that good to me - but, it clearly made me see that there's always more to life than we expect it. Lesson learned from 2007? don't expect but, don't lose hope. Repent but, content. Don't always ask for more. Just give time, chill out, loosen up and go with the flow ♥

♥ Hello 2008!