Right now, I feel like the only way to vent out my feelings is to blog. Even though I badly want to seek help from my close friends, I can't cause I know that it will hurt them deep inside like it's hurting me.
The truth is - despite the fact that you're willing to open up, to learn, to accept with all means, most people just tend to keep everything to themselves. Yes, by all means, I accept that fact but, what hurts me right now is that I have to learn some facts from other people than from her, one of my sister. It bruised my already battered self-esteem, made a hole inside my heart and made me think my of worth for them.
It hurts whenever she calls me her bestfriend despite the gap that's currently building between us. It hurts that she doesn't trust me enough to know that I would stay by her side no matter what. It hurts to see that she's acting all good when I know that deep inside, she's hurting like a bitch. I want to help. I want to bring along the pain that she's carrying inside but, what can I do if she doesn't want to open up to me - the one she calls her bestfriend.
It just really hurts to know that she doesn't trust me enough to know that I would stick by her side through thick or thin. It hurts because whenever I have my down times, my heart would always scream her name.
But, I accept it. If she hurts, I hurt too. That's how much I love her. I know you're prolly reading this and stuff. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm just always here for you. I mean it.
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