I love you but, I'm letting go.

.. Misused, mistakes.


You: No day has passed by, I don't know if it's something good or if it's a curse. There's no way to get her out of my head, sometimes I wonder if it's a torture.

Me: Trust me bro, it gets better. I used to have the same thing with a guy but, then.. he got cold cause of what I did. And, I was really at fault. So, I just accepted the consequences. It hurts cause after we separated, there's no other guy who passed my mind even a bit. Just him. Every night's thoughts are reserved for him. 

You: Seems like he's a good guy! Did you know? I used to leave chocolates bars and notes inside her bag during lunch breaks? God, I've been pursuing her since forever. Damn. What did I do this time?

Me: Hey, don't make it hard for yourself. You'll never know, really. There will always be a time for you guys if you're meant to be. And you know what, don't you think you deserve better than a cold treatment? Stop making it hard for yourself. If ever she decide to let you go, it's her lost. You've been trying to make things better for you guys but, think of it this way.. Did she ever try to make it right for the both of you? Think if she deserves someone like you.

- - -
I was talking to my best boy bud last night and that's what we talked about. It sucks to think that most people can't see what's right infront of them. It's unbelievable how they take things for granted without them even knowing it. Really. Who wouldn't kill to have a guy like my best boy bud, right?

Sucks. I'm not really the one to talk about love. Not because I don't experience it but, because I just don't want to. But, our talked last night made me realize some things. First, I'm one of those. One of those people who had taken the one who loves me for granted. Second, it's too late to fix things and it's okay with me. If that's the consequences of my actions then, so be it. Sometimes, you just really have to get hurt in order to learn.

Maybe this is karma. I hate it when someone close to me feels down. And what a better way to torture me, than to see my brother feel the pain. The same pain that I was able to unintentionally give to someone. Why. Why do we have to take other people for granted?

A message for you?
Get your gears on. Make your mind. Every girl out there would kill to have him. True love doesn't knock on your door everyday. Be sure to think twice if you're just planning to throw it away. Guys like him are rare to find. They are the ones who doesn't want the 'girl-of-the-moment' what they want is a girl that will be with them forever. Make sure, you'll be able to bear the regrets - a year or two later.

The one we love.

Nothing can ever change the love I have to the most wonderful mother of all ♥

We shop, eat, bond, gossip, laugh over the silliest things, laugh at other's expense, decide for each other, spend, chat about boys, cook, sing, play the piano together, and many more. But those statements above are not the reason why she's the greatest mother for me.

She's always there physically, emotionally and spiritually. She attends to me and my siblings, 24 hours - 7 days a week. Without even weeping a tear or so, she knows some thing's wrong. She tries to console us with all of her, whenever we have problems. She sticks with us - glues herself to us, despite the fact that sometimes, we tend to push her away. She showers us unconditional love - sometimes, love that's more than what we deserve but, she's still there anyways.. never giving up for the sake of us - her family. She works as hard as anyone I know to pamper us to the life that she has accustomed to give. Whenever we're down, she gives us enough reasons to move on - as if her presence is not enough. She's our inspiration. The one who's ready to sacrifice herself for us. The one who's always prepared to jump infront a bullet for us. The one who loves us so.

And, the one I love. I love her so much that sometimes, I think words aren't enough. No words can describe how I feel whenever she would comfort me. No words can describe how happy I am when she's with me. No words can describe how thankful I am that I have her as my mother. No words can describe the relief I feel whenever she would try her best to make me happy whenever I'm down. She's just the best, and the word 'best' seems too small to describe her.

Happy 47th birthday, Mommy ♥
I love you.

You've been my fatal attraction.

- Dream a little dream by Susan Elizabeth Philips ♥


Anyways, a lot of stuff has been happening lately and I feel like im too slow to catch up. I can't believe this school year is about to end when it feels like I just entered the first day of classes yesterday. I feel like a lost child sitted alone infront of a big silverscreen watching time pass by. I didn't like this school year at first but, I eventually did. It helped me grow into a better and understanding person. It taught me how to deal with superficial and judgemental people. It started out bad but, eventually.. it turned into something I can never imagine it to be.

I guess that's what growing up is all about. We should accept the fact that things can't always be good for what we think is better. It can only be good if we learn how to compromise with other people and if we learn how to find comfort over the silliest, smallest things. We have to learn how to see the better side of a person before we judge. We have to know the high and lows of every person before we criticize them.

A bit sad, don't you think? I got close with some of the most wonderful people I've ever met during the last quarter of the school year. Maybe it's because deep inside, I know I don't fit in. No, scratch that. The truth is, I don't want to fit in. For some reasons, I really don't want to be like them so, I decided to just step inside my little home nut shell and hide. That's a big mistake though cause by the time that I realized that I was contented but not happy with where I was, It was already almost too late to change things but, I did :) Okay, not the point but the thing is, I learned from my mistakes and I tried to change it. I did grow up, didn't I?

"I'll never forget. You made this year worthwhile."

Crap

If there's one thing I always tried so hard to avoid it's being courted. I know, I'm weird like that. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I was raised up by my parents to have a life plan (You know, have my own business at 25, marry at 28, etcetera) but whatever. Whatever reason it is.. it gives me enough creeps whenever I imagine myself romantically involved with a guy.

I love most of the boys I know, who doesn't? but, I love them not the way most of the girls out there do. That's the reason why I call most of them 'bro'. Unfortunately, some thick faced people just really can't take the hint and damn, is he bugging me. I don't want to be rude and all that but, whatever.

To top it all out.. he's my friend's ex-boyfriend and my friend sort of likes him still. I really hate this feeling. Argh. I really like him as my friend but, I just can't risk the feeling that our friendship might lead him on. Whatever. This whole romance thing really destroys the friendship.

Can't you take the hint?

Enough isn't enough

I woke up with beads of sweat on my face. I dreamt of you again. Thoughts after thoughts, thump after thump, as the beat of my heart quickened it's pace. A dream that's only allowed to be in my dreams. A dream that can never be replaced by any other glorious dreams. It's a dream that made me crave for more, aspire for more and dream for more. It's a dream that made me against my own barriers that I carefully created. It's a dream that made me realize that I'm not so immune to you after all. It's a dream that reminded me, that no matter what. I will always be in satiated when it comes to you, because with you, enough will never be enough ...