I remember going out of the bus first. Feeling that strange emotion you feel when you're seated on a roller coaster in a dark place with absolutely no idea what to expect. That was how I felt. It was a mix of happiness, of contentment, of being nervous, of being shy, and just a feeling.. a feeling of breaking out. It was strange. So strange.
I remember my bestfriend pushing me. Encouraging me. Telling me that I'm doing the right thing. I remember my other friend, someone who's really close to my heart, smiling at me. And just.. being there for me. Whether I'm going to do it or not. I remember panicking for that one last time, before I saw you at the stairs, getting off the bus. Everything stopped. And then, I died.
When you got off the bus, It's as if you knew. Knew that I planned on talking to you. I was mad that night. We dropped off our things at the theater then, we walked to the Chapel. It was dark and windy. I remember blurting out random stuff and talking about unimportant things. On my side, I was just trying to brush off the nervousness. We walked to the covered courts. I just kept on talking. Until, you suddenly pulled me. "Hide," you said. I remember you telling me that there's a guard and that our school has a curfew. I needed to start.
Just like before, we stayed at the grade school covered court, near the field. For a moment, it was silent. It's funny because thinking of it now, I feel like you knew something's about to happen. And you were right. When it comes to me, you are always right. I asked you to look straight ahead at the field, to the north. I leaned at the wall you're leaning at, and looked straight ahead at the other wall, to the east. It was a windy, starry and beautiful night. And unconsciously, I started blurting out random things again. It was dark, and I needed a light. Funny thing was right after I said that, God sent us basketball players to open the lights of the Grade school covered court. From that moment, I knew then that I have no escape. That night, it felt like God decided to do the work for me. The work I was too scared and nervous to do.
I pulled out the letter and reminded you to keep on looking straight. "I'm nervous," I said that because I was. I really was. You tilted your head backwards and sighed. "If you're nervous, Imagine how I feel." I smiled because, I'm starting to see it. "You know, it gets easier after reading the first word." And so, I did. I started reading it.
At first, I was nervous. My heart doubled it's pounding and my mind could only think of what-ifs. It was crazy. But still, I continued reading. I remember catching your eyes. I stopped and demanded that you look straight again. You did, so I started reading it. I remember airplanes passing, and basketballs rolling. The field and the gradeschool covered court. Ours. You had this most gwapo smile on, and I swear.. I have never ever seen you that happy until that moment. My heart, it skipped. And then, you stood up, brought me to the bench, and caressed my face. It was the sweetest gesture, ever. And I think, if it's even possible, I fell more in like with you. You just have that power in me, you know? We talked about random things. We walked around the campus, with you playfully pushing me. And when the night ended, you hugged and thanked me. It made me feel like I'm the luckiest girl alive. That night, with you. It was the best feeling in the world.
