Nothing..

I sat there, and stared at my phone for the 894760672034570354nth time today.

I thought of how Globe has such a perfect reception at the moment, and of how pretty my current android theme is. I contemplated on whether using the full wallpaper home style, or the Sony Ericsson wallpaper home style. I pressed the unlock key, and decided not to push through with it anymore.

Never mind. This is silly.

Inside me, there is an accident. I'm on an accident. At least, that's what it feels like to me. Accident on the edge of falling off a cliff. Fully knowing the feeling of urgency, urgency of what's about to happen, yet, holding on until I can. Holding on with my hardest faith. Even if the thought of being weary, of being tired, of being hopeless by the end of the day is there, I still hold on. My hardest. For what reason? I don't know.

I guess this is how I work. With love. Love at its most ugly sense of the word. It can be tiring, difficult, energy draining, painfully choking, harsh, mundane. . . nothing . . . It can be nothing. In the end, it's just as fleeting as anything on this world. In the end, I'm just here.. begging to feel anything again. Begging to start feeling and seeing something so beautiful and sacred again. Because love, despite of what its worth, is what's making me alive. How ironic.

But for now.. I'll just stare at my phone again. Maybe, just maybe, I'd hear from you this time.